Eight weeks and four days

Another day goes by and as I have a ticker I can keep track on how far along I am at any time - today is 8 weeks and four days and I think finally the bleeding has stopped!

My day by day guide tells me that the baby's ribcage begins to close and the eyelids, which are almost fully formed now cover his/her eyes!

So not much to report at the moment, it's probably going to be like this for a while as I just have to wait now for the 12 week scan - this is almost 4 weeks away and not much will happen that I can actually notice between now and then! I wish I could have another scan in between, it would give me something to look forward to sooner and also help keep my mind sane as not knowing if he/she is ok in there is quite frightening.

As you may know I chat on a fertility board every day with ladies from my clinic who are still going through IVF and other ladies from around the UK who are now pregnant and at different or similar stages to me.

One of the things that worries me is the number of stories I hear about other ladies who get pregnant and go on to have a miscarriage somewhere between 8 and 16 weeks, I hear about babies who's hearts just stop beating for no reason, and other nightmare stories, so I guess it serves to remind me that this is such a fragile time for me.

I know many women go through pregnancy and don't have a clue about these things, but when you go through fertility treatment, I think you learn so much more, simply because you are pushed into this. Sadly it just makes the whole process harder as the worry and fear is greater.

I'm not saying that women who don't have IVF don't worry as I'm sure they do - but for them it's less of a worry as they can get pregnant again, usually within a couple of months, however for me and other IVF ladies it's not so easy, so holding on to this little one is everything in the entire world to me.

I know this little one will be OK, I just wish my mind would let me get on with my life and stop feeling like I am a very expensive, rare china plate balancing on the edge of a table!