Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Friday, 27 July 2007

Emotions are hard to control sometimes

It's now one week since I had my 2 embryos implanted back into my uterus, which means I have one more week to go before official test day, halfway there already.

This last week has felt like it has dragged by, probably because I've been at home on my own and not doing very much. I do hate to be bored!

I'm trying to keep things normal, so unlike last time I'm still pottering around the house a bit, emptying the dishwasher and tidying up a little here and there - not too much as I don't want to overdo it and feel like I've done some damage!

The thoughts that race through your mind are evil! You get irrational fears about squashing the embryos (even though you know you can't and they are safetly tucked away), you find yourself knicker checking every time you go for a pee, convinced that you will see blood.

Every cramp you get makes you think you are about to get your period, but every symptom such as increased sense of smell makes you feel positive. It's a crazy time of ups and downs driven by irrational fears and the hope that this time it will work for me.

At the back of my mind I have to face the fact that if it doesn't work we are back at square one again. Facing another £4000 bill, another month of injections, and possible failure.

This is just too damn hard.

1 comment:

pat moore said...

i can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is for you guys right now...the past week was long, and next week ain't gonna fly by either...but remember there are people in the world, all over the world in fact, who are going through this wait with you...who are keeping track of each day with you...waiting is horrible, you can make yourself crazy...

a wise woman friend would give you wonderful, helpful advise...she would know just what to say to make you feel all calm...if i come across someone like that, i will have her give you a call...all i can tell you is, you are absolutely right...this is really hard...

in lieu of a wise woman friend, i am going to give you my very best advise...EAT is really hard to think and chew at the same time...prepare dinner all day and then serve it in the dinning room with candles...i always find i concentrate when i cook, so there isn't room in my head for anything but what i am doing...i know you have a boat load of cookbooks...i have seen them...pick a really involved meal and go for it...