Some days I wake up feeling great but then something will kick start my emotions and I end up in tears. This morning I was thinking about the upcoming IVF, getting pregnant, my friends who are already pregnant (or have had their babies) and Matthew. It still makes me cry when I think about him, I'm sure it always will.
It has proven to be harder at some times than others, the hardest is when I'm around kids that would be the same age as him now, around 18 months old. It just makes me sad, but also it breaks my heart as I will always wonder what he would have been like at this age.
I also didn't think it would be almost 2 years to get pregnant again. I am so hoping that this next go will work, I'm tired of failure, and I'm tired of crying.