A difficult day

It's been a tough few days really, not just today, but today was very final so I guess in some ways it's been much harder to get through.

I almost don't know what to say. Should I talk about it? Should I talk about something else? I know that I want to move on and look forward now to the next treatment, so I suppose in some ways I don't want to talk about it as I can't change the result. Talking about it makes me want to cry. I just feel numb. So much time, effort, pain, emotion and money for 6 weeks and I'm back at the beginning with nothing to show for it. How is that fair?

We had a quiet day today, Chris stayed home, he still had to work but at least he was here with me, we had tears, we have also laughed. It's not all doom and gloom except for moments in time when you stop and remember what just happened. Time will fade this memory like it has before and we will regain our strength and we will learn to smile again.

Whatever happens we will stay strong, and we will stay together. I have heard stories of some women who after a couple of goes at this, they leave their husbands because they think that the husband deserves to be with someone who can give them a baby. This is very sad, that their love for each other is not strong enough to keep them together no matter what. I know that is not true with Chris and myself. Our love is strong, it's solid and it's true. No matter what we endure, no matter how many times life kicks us down, we will stand back up, hold hands and walk forward, even if sometimes we stroll at a gentle pace. It will always be together.