A sad entry in my blog today as I'm now sure that this attempt at IVF has failed. We did another test this morning, hoping for a slight glimmer of hope as we get closer to the official test day, but we got another negative.
Chris phoned the clinic this afternoon and asked them what the chances are of me getting a positive now and they said slim to none, so although we will do the test again tomorrow morning, I'm not terribly hopeful that we will get the result that we so desparately wanted.
Some might think testing early was wrong, but I will do it again! I'm impatient, plus I think it's given me a couple of days to think about the fact that this might not work. I've been so positive the whole time that if we had waited until Friday and got a negative then, I would have taken the result much harder.
Chris is working from home tomorrow as I may need his support, this has been a really long hard month for me, both pysically and emotionally and to end it with nothing is heartbreaking.
On top of the fact we aren't pregnant, we have to face the fact that we need to find another £4000 to try again as we weren't able to get any embryos to freeze. This also means we have to start all over again with the down regging, stimming, egg collection and embryo transfer.
I don't know if I want to do acupuncture again, it was expensive and painful so I will have to think hard about that. They say that it improves your chances of success , but it cost us £300 and it didn't seem to help me!
Before I sign off tonight, I'd like to add that Chris is also devastated with this result, people sometimes forget that he is part of this too. I had to take on the physical stuff but Chris has been my rock throughout this, supporting me emotionally, and I'd like to say a big thank you to him for being there for me every minute of every day through this process. Without you babe I would have fallen apart weeks ago, thank you for giving me the strength to carry on, and for picking me up when I'm feeling low.
Baby I love you more than ever, we will get there and we WILL be somebody's mum and dad. I'm not ready to give up, and I'm now looking forward to the future and to starting again in September.
So to all of those who are reading this, don't forget to ask Chris how he is feeling, I know he is hurting too, as he wants this as much as I do.
I will continue to keep this blog if you care to keep reading, and I will post the final result tomorrow morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment