Elly Russell's blog. Read about her IVF journey and life with her twin girls.

It's been a busy day one way or another, we've been out of the house gathering bits and pieces for Friday.

When Matthew died the hospital gave us two options; either to have him cremated as part of a mass ceremony at the hospital or to make our own arrangements. We decided to go with the private option and with the aid of our local funeral home we have a slot booked at the local crematorium on Friday morning.

We didn't want any fuss, in fact what we wanted was just the cremation process so we could have his ashes returned to us, however, the funeral director told us the hearse would take the coffin to the crem where it would wait for 30 minutes before being taken away. That being the case we decided we would attend but there will be no minister, flowers or frills. Just us and our little boy. We picked out two songs for the occassion, Guns N' Roses' "Don't Cry" and "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol - not traditional choices by any stretch of the imagination, but it means a lot to us.

So, the reason for our trip out today was to find something for Matthew to wear, we had started to buy some baby clothes but we have nothing that will fit a 21 week premature baby so we had to resort to looking for dolls clothes and even then what we have will be too big. We eventually settled on a tiny t-shirt fom Babies R Us which says BB on the front, it's tiny but it'll still take some creative dressing to make it look right. We also bought a child's doll for it's tiny cap as it was the closest size to Matthew's head. We also picked up a couple of little soft toys.

We heard from the funeral director this afternoon, Matthew has been returned from the hospital so we can visit tomorrow and see him for the last time.