When will this pregnancy feel safe?

I read an excellent blog story today with the same title, and it echoed exactly how I'm feeling - Every. Single. Day.

She is a lady who has being trying to have a family for 6 years or more, she is now 11 weeks pregnant with twins, so just 2 weeks ahead of me, and she too is terrified for her babies.

I wanted to let her know that I hear her, and I feel exactly how she is feeling. This dread fear that you wake up with each day, wondering if everything will be OK, praying that today will be another good one, and fearing that you might get bleeding or worse suffer a miscarriage.

It's not a nice feeling. It doesn't bother me every minute of every day, but it's there - lingering at the back of my mind like a bad smell that you can't get out of the carpet.

I don't feel safe - at all. But every day I get through I feel relief that we are one day closer to the babies being here and us being a real family.

I personally won't feel safe until I get past 32 weeks, this is the stage at which I know should they come early then there is a good chance they will survive.

Some people stop worrying when they make it to 12 weeks and into the 2nd trimester - for me this is just an early milestone, a marker on a very very long road that means nothing.

I'm not safe at 12 weeks, or even 20 weeks. We lost Matthew at 21 weeks and 3 days because at 19 weeks my amniotic sac tore somehow and while we kept going for a further 2 weeks it wasn't enough.

It's not until 24 weeks the doctors will even consider it a viable pregnancy, at this point they will actually bother to do something to try and help - prior to that there just doesn't seem to be any point - to them....

So I'll continue to be thankful at the end of each and every day, I will continue to worry a little at the start of every new day, and I will be ever so grateful for each week that we get through where nothing has gone wrong and we have had no scares.

It's only 21 weeks now till I hit the safety zone! Not that long really is it??

So to Rachel with the blog on conceive.com - I hear you love, I feel what you are feeling and we should stand strong together as Tiggers and believe that this time is our time and we will make it to the end of this road.